Defending my food
My husband (a vegan) and I (a vegan and sometimes raw foodist) often marvel at how our food becomes a topic of conversation in social eating situations. I have been at work, out with friends, or on an airplane, innocently chomping away on my unintimidating meatless, dairy-free meal and someone will invariably make a comment on my food. It is usually in the form of, “Is that all you are going to eat?” or “Don’t you crave meat?” or “Can’t plants feel pain too?” or, my personal favorite, “Aren’t you hungry all day?”
Now, for those who know me, I hardly appear malnourished or underfed. That is not a concern. Plus, my job and goal in life is to care for and cure the masses. So to even imply that I would intentionally risk nutrient depletion and undernourishment would also imply I was misguiding and ill-advising multiples of people. I take food seriously, of course, but only because it is such an important part of our health and our culture.
I think food is our medicine and it should be treated as such. It is not something to taken likely, as we have the options of soothing our body and tending to its needs approximately three times each and every day. And while thinness is associated with fewer health concerns and common disease patterns, then obsession to simply be skinny for the aesthetic sake of being skinny can lead to a range of negative psychological patterns such as stress, anxiety, obsessions and compulsions .
But to eat for one’s health is not only imperative in today’s antagonistic health care climate, but EMPOWERING. To feed one’s body, on a cellular level, so that it has a multi-organ effect, is to give one the physical and mental clarity necessary to be truly present in life and enable one to confront all of life’s obstacles and focal points.
So, then, why do I not take a peek at my neighbor’s plate and make comments? Something like, “Don’t you know what you are doing to your (fill in organ)?” or “How can you eat that?” or, perhaps, “Doesn’t that food make you feel full and stuffed all day?”
Because putting someone on the spot to defend what they have chosen to eat for that particular meal is really not the kind of conversation I hope to have. There should be a certain expectation of respect for personal dietary choices. I sometimes get frustrated at the prospect of having to explain my food choices in a social, non-clinical, setting. I am bewildered by the amount of people who do not seem to appreciate the myriad of food choices there are for those who choose a natural path of eating. I do not want to be made to feel as an outcast at a dinner party or a restaurant gathering (“what are you going to be able to eat, Ilene?” “Should I prepare a different plate for you, Ilene?)
Life is what we make of it and I am trying to make mine consist of a raw, vegan diet. And while I am not always successful, I try to take it one meal at a time and make a good choice for my state of health. If one is interested in alternative food choices and the reasons behind it (of which there are many), I am more than happy, in fact, welcome the opportunity, to engage in a friendly discussion. But, please, not at the dinner table.
Ilene S. Ruhoy, MD, PhD was born and raised in New York City. She received her MD from the University of Pittsburgh and her PhD in Environmental Science from the University of Nevada. Ilene serves on faculty at Touro University Nevada School of Medicine and lectures at venues across the country on the interconnections between the environment and human health. She is passionate about nutrition as medicine and human well-being. Her next clinical endeavor will be a pediatric neurology residency at Seattle Children’s Hospital. Having recently relocated with her husband and six year old daughter to Seattle, she is excited to be plugged into the Thrive community. Ilene thrives on helping other people find their way to optimal health and happiness. Ilene can be reached at ilenesue@gmail.com.
Dr. Ruhoy received an M.D. degree from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and received a Ph.D. in Environmental Science from the University of Nevada. Her most recent clinical endeavor includes residency training in neurology at the University of Washington. Dr. Ilene has worked with the EPA to correlate ecosystem health with human disease. Dr. Ruhoy's research focuses on the sources and implications for human exposure of pharmaceutical residues and other contaminants in the environment. She has written and lectured extensively on the ecological footprint of prescribed medications. Dr. Ruhoy's work also emphasizes green medicine. Dr. Ilene currently resides in Seattle with her husband and daughter.
June 11th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Thank you! I wonder about the upbringing of some people? Sadly, I’ve been watching such an upbrining until tonight. Kids need to be taught that it’s rude to make comment about another person’s choices; in this case food. And, in your example where you, as the V-Raw made comment on their SAD diet? You would have been instantly labelled fanatical, rabid food militant, where most people feel they can make all the comment they want on choices that are not theirs.
As recent raw afficionado, I have seen dramatic shifts in my health in as little as a few days. As I Type 2 diabetic, among other issues, my glucose levels have dropped so quickly on raw that I have to monitor for LOWS as opposed to highs. I’m almost off all medication (anticipate it in a few days). This, all from going raw food.
My daily challenge is that I am single, but eat dinner with my sister and her family and her mother in law. It is the only time I get to see them most days. I bring my own food to the table since I’ve started eating raw.
Each day, my plate gets scrutinized, faces made, eyes rolled. My sister was the instigator of my going raw. She noted when I was on the Elimination Diet for allergies that I did much better health-wise. I chose raw over EDA and suddenly, I’m doing very strange and abnormal things!
Today, I had a lovely portobello mushroom with almond/pinenut cheese sauce, snap peas and beet/green juice for a little extra boost tonight. When I came to the table, my three y.o. niece was the first to mimic her dad and grandma and make fun of my food choices.
I’d reached my limit. I told my niece, “It’s not nice to make fun of other people food. This is my dinner and I plan to enjoy it. Would you be happy and enjoy your food if I pulled faces and said “yuck!”. Thankfully, my sister and bro in law stopped in their trackes and realized they were teaching her bad behaviors.
The irony is this kid is a basically vegetarian. She really doesn’t like meat and loves raw vegetables. So, she tried my beet juice (not my best batch…needed some apple), pulled a face for attention and that was the end of it. She’s allergic to nuts, so no Portobello for her. I hope this is the end of it, in general.
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I love this piece! I came across your article while researching raw food choices in Seattle. I’m moving up next year despite all the negative commentary I receive from oregonians who have never left southern oregon. As an African American vegetarian/vegan/sometimes raw foodist, I roll my eyes at family and during social situations for exactly the same reasons. All we can do is smile and say, hey, “It looks like the bet on who’s going to live longer is highly unnecessary.” Keep trucking on!
July 26th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
This is an interesting article that brings up a good point. I think everyone has the right to their own choices and to have them respected. If it were more in a sense of being curious or wanting to understand your perspective on things (in this case, of course, food choices) I could understand that and welcome that kind of discussion. However, to automatically criticize or judge more “atypical” choices is hard to deal with in any scenario.
What’s interesting is that I get the SAME response but in a reverse way. I am not a vegan or raw foodist. Rather, I’m just interested in different foods and recipes and do have a few food limitations (I’m allergic to dairy, which is why I starting looking into first dairy-free alternatives but then expanded into trying interesting alternatives like gluten-free, raw, vegan cuisine, etc). A vegan co-worker of mine, however, peers at my lunch almost everyday and if there’s any meat in it will comment “Oh, so you’re eating Babe today?” or “that’s like eating your dog… ” or something to that extent which really is a turn-off. Not only does it make me NOT want to consider his perspective just because he comes off close-minded, but in general just makes me feel as if I’m not entitled to my own choices, food or whatever it may be, and that I have to defend them. So it does come from both ends and really limits open discussion, at the dinner table or elsewhere. Honestly, otherwise, I’m very open to discussing different options as long as my choices are respected after considering points brought up.
August 5th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
That is such a fantastic way to put it. I am so tired of just saying, “I need to do what’s best for me and my body, and you do what’s best for you…”
When I really just want to tell them so go suck it. But the way you’ve put it is much more classy.
October 1st, 2010 at 11:28 am
Found my way here from a link on Casual Kitchen and have to say – Amen!
It’s amazing how people both find their own choices untouchable – and yet still feel perfectly free to attack others while they eat. In my case, I have food allergies and celiac. Gluten is off the table forever, and a weird mix of others (bananas, shellfish, nuts, eggs…) have to be avoided as I am rather fond of breathing. Even with clear immediate negative responses (the whole lack of breathing for example) conversation always seems to rotate around to “But why not at least a bite, come on it can’t be THAT bad” or my personal favorite “You know it’s just a fad… right?”
I love food. Eating it, cooking it, talking about it. I’ll ask what you might be eating and if you enjoy it, how is it made, what other tastes you might like… but criticize it as it goes in?
That’s just RUDE.
December 1st, 2010 at 10:57 pm
I have enjoyed this article and reading everyone’s replies. I can’t agree more – the comments are rude whether it is a stranger or a relative, and our culture is so casual that this situation is not unusual. The abuse I took during the holidays from family being a non-meat eater was so obnoxious that I stopped going. When they found out that I was eating meat occasionally they decided it a good idea to express their relief even less subtly. Ugh.
Everyone should make their own food choices without feeling like they have to defend them to anyone else. While many feel strongly about nutrition (or what hooey it is) mind your own freakin’ plate, people. The judging won’t achieve a damn thing.
December 19th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Personally I don’t care what people think about what I happen to be eating at any moment. But when they do ask, why are you eating X? I’ll just ask them what they know about it that not a good option to be eating? And those that know me, can’t really say much, since they have noticed the change in my weight and over all health.
But they are always asking how I lost the weight or got so “healthy looking”? And I will tell them when they really want to know, they can spend a day with me and my routine, because telling them, won’t do much for them.
Is it rude to comment on what others are eating? Sure, but you can’t change how people were raised or teach them manners, once they are adults, you can only ignore or teach, and you just have to decide which you want to do when the comments come up.
One of my teaching tools is to show pictures of myself a year ago, when someone that was in my shoes 12 months ago, makes comments about how what I’m eating can’t be very good. And I just add, it was eating that did this (the weight gain), and eating that fixed it (weight loss and healthy eating).